First message recommendations for international daters

International dating can be likened to selecting sweets in a candy store for some guys. For others, it’s a long and arduous journey through hundreds of “no’s.” However you feel about it, international online dating is no longer taboo and is here to stay. But dating services are like gyms: you may know how to use some of the equipment, but you’re definitely not getting the most out of it. Worse, if you do it incorrectly, you may end up harming yourself.


Follow these easy guidelines to ensure that your first message to a lady isn’t your last:

Demonstrate that you have read her profile.

It’s no secret that most guys make decisions about whether or not to approach a lady based solely on their appearance. Although appearances are essential, you’re looking for long-term partnerships rather than one-night stands. So take a moment to go at her profile. You don’t have to read it all the way through, but you should scan it enough to get a sense of who she is. Then make a remark about it.

Don’t go crazy and remark on every line.

Yes, learning about the woman and reading what she wrote is important, but don’t go crazy trying to prove that you did. Too much attention, too soon, might indicate that you are desperate or in need. That isn’t considered sexy by anyone.

Here is a bad example: “I adore all of your profile images, especially one of you in a blue outfit. My favorite color is blue. You also mentioned that you enjoy watching TV shows. That’s something I appreciate as well. I’ve never tried horseback riding, but I see you have a lot of experience with it. Are you willing to teach me?”

Make sure your first message is around 200 characters long.

So many males don’t take the time to send even a basic letter, whether it’s due to laziness, a lack of ambition, or simply a numbers game.

This is not going to work, even knowing that men aren’t as verbally expressive as women. According to studies, the ideal message length is 200 characters, which is somewhat longer than a tweet. If you’re looking for someone special, make an effort and don’t restrict yourself to a simple “hello!” message.

Nice example: “I really like that you have a photo of yourself windsurfing! I’ve tried it and found it to be a lot of fun. I adore the sun and the water. Where is your favorite place to surf?”

Double-check your spelling and grammar.

Remember that initial impressions are everything when it comes to online dating. You should constantly put your best foot forward. Having a message littered with errors implies that you are either lazy, indifferent, or simply foolish. Keep in mind that not all of the ladies on an international dating service speak English fluently. Online translation will not assist if the content is riddled with typos and slang terms. Please take a moment to proofread your messages before sending them.

Don’t go too far with your investigation.

You could be incredibly excellent at finding out where some of the objects in her images are, and Google is fantastic for investigating, but now isn’t the time to show off how knowledgeable you are about her before you’ve ever met. You may believe it demonstrates effort, enjoyment, and intellect. It can, however, come across as spooky, menacing, and unsettling.

Use a template for your first message.

Here’s what you should say in your initial message to a potential match:

- Make a comment on anything in her profile.
- Demonstrate that you have something in common.
- Ask an open question.

Be patient.

According to statistics, first-message response rates range between 22 and 40 percent on average, so anticipate the overwhelming majority, if not the vast majority, of messages to go unanswered. That is the truth. Remember that it’s a numbers game, and you can’t win if you don’t play.

Make some changes and wait for nice results.

Most of the time, little changes to your messages and profiles are all that is required to increase your response rate but don’t be too rigid. If something doesn’t seem to be working, change it up a little. Experiment with something new. Also, don’t overwork yourself. Remember, this is supposed to be enjoyable!