Monthly Archives: June 2016

How to date online safely


Maybe you love the idea of online dating due to the convenience in your busy schedule, as well as the global outreach in meeting many different people. However, are you a little uncomfortable with the idea of Internet dating due to your safety? If you make sure you do it right it can be well worth your time (source: wikiHow).


  1. Beware of addiction. It is easy to get too involved in online dating relationships; for some it can lead to an addiction. Some find themselves enjoying the flirtatious advances of the opposite sex, both in chat rooms and with online dating services. People get sucked into online relationships and become addicted to the world of online dating and chat rooms. For some it becomes an obsession.
  2. Know that online communities can be full of deceit and lies due to the anonymity they provide. You can create a persona quite different from yourself. You can act out a part, instead of being a real person. There are characters online ready to prey on the unwary and naive.
  3. Realize that online dating is every bit real. Do not follow your heart over your head. Don’t journey outside your comfort zone and be overtaken by a seductive search for true companionship.
  4. Be smart. Tell yourself, “I’ll keep the relationship at the e-mail level before deciding to talk on the phone!” Yes, take baby steps to discover if you have a great deal in common.
  5. Do your research. Why did you get into online dating–a success story from a friend, or just no luck anywhere else? Lots of books have been written on this subject. You must read a few if you are thinking of entering this medium.
  6. Be realistic. It’s easy to build relationships via the internet. Realize that for every one of the stories that you hear about meeting and dating the perfect woman, there are stories of relationships that end traumatically when a date’s husband answers the phone. Don’t let an online dating experience go from the chat room to the psychiatrist’s couch; temper your expectations and be prepared.
  7. Take it slow. Communication has gotten much faster with mobile phones, SMS, internet relay Chat, instant messaging, ICQ. You can be surfing the Web and up pops a message from a potential lover. The nice thing about Internet dating is that you can do it at your own pace without taking time away from work. But don’t let that rush you into anything. There are unfortunately a lot of opportunities for the unsavory members of our society.


  • When you have decided it is time to meet, tell them you are going to conduct a background check. Be honest and let them know your security is most important. Ask for their full name, age and city they live in. This is a good way to be sure you are dealing with the real person. If they have a problem giving you this information, then maybe they have something to hide.
  • Start the relationship with emails and ask them important information you want in a relationship, be honest.
  • Keep your Profile completely private and anonymous.You do not want anyone to know who you are until you are ready to tell them.
  • Your profile should only have updated and accurate pictures that show your full length body and a facial closeup. Be honest (no airbrushing). You want them to want to meet “YOU” not be upset when they get there and feel duped.


  • Never give any money to the person.
  • Never tell them your address. They could turn out to be not what you were looking for.
  • The first couple of dates should always be in a public place.


How to make small talk in Russian


Making small talk in Russian is just the same as in English. Touch on familiar topics like jobs, sports, children — just say it in Russian! Small talk is where relationships begin (source: For Dummies).

Small talk generally consists of greetings and introductions and descriptions of personal information and interests.

Greetings and introductions

Greetings and introductions in Russian are a bit more formal than in English. There is a right way to greet people and a wrong way. In fact, if you botch your greeting, you may get a funny look or even offend the person you’re addressing.

As you’d expect, you should use a polite greeting when you run into someone you know or want to know. To greet a person you know well, say zdravstvuj (ZDRAH-stvooy) (hello) or privyet! (pree-VEHT) (Hi!). To greet anyone else (or a group), say zdravstvujtye (ZDRAH-stvooy-teh) (hello).

Russians like to begin with first suggesting that you become acquainted. They usually say Davajtye poznakomimsya! (duh-vahy-teh puhz-nuh- koh-meem-suh!) (Let’s get acquainted). The most common response is Davajtye! (duh-vahy-teh!) (Okay! [literally: Let’s!]).

The following phrases will help you make introductions.

  • Myenya zovut (Mee-NAH zah-VOOT) + your name.) (My name is . . .)

  • Kak vas zovut? (kahk vahz zah-VOOT?) (What is your name? [literally: What do they call you?])

When you want to introduce someone, all you need to say is Eto . . . (eh-tuh . . .) (This is . . .). Then you simply add the name of the person.

Exchanging personal information

After the necessary introductions, small talk is really just a question of talking about yourself and asking the other person questions about themselves. The following phrases will come in handy when you’re chitchatting with someone new.

  • Ya iz Amyeriki (ya eez uh-MYE-ree-kee) (I am from America)

  • Vy iz kakogo goroda? (vih eez kuh-KOH-vuh GOH-ruh-duh?) (What city are you from?)

What you do for living is crucial for a Russian’s understanding of who you are. Be prepared to answer the question Kto vy po profyessii? (ktoh vih puh-prah-FEH-see-ee?) (What do you do for a living? [literally: What’s your job?]). To tell someone what you do for a living, say Ya + your profession. Here’s a list of the most common professions:

  • archityektor (uhr-khee-TEHK-tuhr) (architect)

  • bibliotyekar’ (beeb-lee-ah-TEH-kuhr) (librarían)

  • biznyesmyen (beez-nehs-MEHN) (businessman)

  • bukhgaltyer (bookh-GAHL-tehr) (accountant)

  • inzhyenyer (een-zhee-NEHR) (engineer)

  • khudozhnik (khoo-DOHZH-neek) (artist, painter)

  • muzykant (moo-zih-KAHNT) (musician)

  • myenyedzhyer (MEH-nehd-zhehr) (manager)

  • pisatyel’ (pee-SAH-tehl) (author, writer)

  • programmist (pruh-gruh-MEEST) (programmer)

  • studyent (stoo-DEHNT) (male student)/studyentka (stoo-DEHNT-kuh) (female student)

  • uchityel’ (oo-CHEE-tehl) (male teacher)/uchityel’nitsa (oo-CHEE-tehl-nee-tsuh) (female teacher)

  • vrach (vrahch) (physician)

  • yurist (yu-REEST) (attorney, lawyer)

  • zhurnalist (zhoor-nuh-LEEST) (journalist)

Talking about personal interests

Many friendships are forged on the bond of common interests. You can use the following phrases to compare interests when making small talk. To discover someone’s likes or dislikes, you can ask one of the following:

  • Chyem ty lyubish’ zanimat’sya? (chyem tih LYU-beesh zuh-nee-MAHT-suh?) (What do you like to do? [informal singular])

  • Chyem vy lyubitye zanimat’sya? (chyem vih LYU-bee-tee zuh-nee-MAHT-suh?) (What do you like to do? [formal])

  • Ty lyubish’ . . . ? (tih LYU-beesh . . . ?) (Do you like . . . ? [informal singular]) + the imperfective infinitive of a verb or a noun in the accusative case

  • Vy lyubitye . . . ? (vih LYU-bee-tee . . . ?) (Do you like . . . ? [formal singular) (plural]) + the imperfective infinitive of a verb or a noun in the accusative case

Giving flowers to a girl from Russia


Any girl from Russia loves flowers. However, some girls may pay a lot of attention to the choice of flowers you make. They believe in Russia that the way you treat flowers is how you are going to treat your woman. Here are some “don’ts” that will help you avoid making mistakes while giving flowers to a girl from Russia (source: Aero Translate).

Don’t buy your Russian girl carnations

Red carnations are a symbol of war. In Russia people bring these flowers to graves of their relatives who died in a war to commemorate them. On May 9 – Russian Victory Day – thousands of people place these flowers in front of the soldiers’ graves on the Red Square in Moscow.

Don’t give her an even number of flowers

In Russia they always give an odd number of flowers. Giving an even number is a bad sign, because they also place only an even number of flowers on graves. So unless she knows that in foreign countries they sell and give flowers in dozens, you risk upsetting her.

Don’t give her 13 flowers

Even though it’s an odd number, it is an unlucky number too, and not only in Russia. So, make sure that your bouquet of flowers is an odd number other than 13.

Don’t give her yellow flowers

Any yellow flower is a symbol of parting or deceit in Russia. According to an old custom, if a boyfriend in Russia wants to break up in a nice and peaceful way, he gives his girlfriend yellow flowers. So don’t bring your girl yellow flowers unless, of course, you have a reason for that.

Don’t buy old flowers

Make sure that you buy fresh flowers because in Russia they also believe that if the man who gives a bouquet of flowers doesn’t have true, sincere and kind feelings for the girl, the flowers will not last long.

Of course, these are all superstitions and they may seem quite silly. But they may be helpful for the man who cares about the impression he has on his girlfriend.

Playing with the numbers: ageing statistics

Women have a very sensible approach to ageing


This table lists, for a woman, the age of men she finds most attractive.

Reading from the top, we see that 20 and 21-year-old women prefer 23-year-old guys; 22-year-old women like men who are 24, and so on down through the years to women at 50, who we see rate 46-year-olds the highest. This isn’t survey data, this is data built from tens of millions of preferences expressed in the act of finding a date, and even from the first few entries, the gist of the table is clear: a woman wants a guy to be roughly as old as she is.

Look more closely, though, and there are two transitions, which coincide with big birthdays. The first is at 30, where the trend of male ages dips below parity, never to cross back. The data is saying that until 30, a woman prefers slightly older guys; afterwards, she likes them slightly younger. Then at 40, a woman’s tastes appear to hit a wall. Or a man’s looks fall off a cliff, if you want to think about it that way. If we want to pick the point where a man’s sexual appeal has reached its limit, it’s there: 40.

Meanwhile, men may get older but they don’t really grow up


Here’s how men rate women, the votes going the other way. Whether they are 20, 30, or 50, men think a woman is at her best when she’s in her early 20s.

As you can see, it’s pretty much a unanimous vote for youth. Wooderson, the character played by Matthew McConaughey in the film Dazed and Confused, apparently spoke for all men when he said: “That’s what I love about these high-school girls, man. I get older. They stay the same age (source: theguardian).

10 online dating mistakes you’ve probably made


Before you reach out to that potentially perfect partner, make sure you go about it the right way. Avoiding any missteps can give you a better chance to initiate contact, land a date and hopefully see it blossom into love. For some of the more common online dating mistakes to avoid, read on (source: Lifehack)

1. Don’t post your best photo

People don’t often look like their best photos. If you do, wonderful. If you’re like the rest of us though, you’re only setting yourself up for failure if you post your best one. Post normal everyday photos of yourself instead.

2. Take the time to really read member profiles

People put a lot of time and effort into creating their profiles – do yourself a favor and actually read them. If you’re outside someone’s age or location range, don’t make contact. Reading online dating profiles thoroughly may take a bit of time, but in the long run, it’s going to make your search for that perfect someone a lot more efficient.

3. Be careful what you say and who you say it to

Don’t automatically assume that people on a particular dating website don’t converse with one another. If you’re telling one individual what a party animal you are but you try to come off as a homebody to attract another, you might get caught dead in your tracks.

4. Cast a broad net in your search

Rather than looking for reasons not to reach out to people, try to find things that do attract you to them. Contact anyone you might share common interests with and see where it goes. If you’ve never been attracted to brunettes, loosen up a bit. If you think you’d never date an avid sports fan, give it a shot. You never know what type of person you might fall for and the content of online profiles is limited by nature, so send messages to some folks the computer may not automatically match you with and you might just surprise yourself.

5. Consider a paid membership over free websites

Generally members of paid websites are more serious about finding a relationship. Your results aren’t guaranteed either way, but you could find yourself wasting a lot of time if you don’t consider shelling out a few bucks for a short-term subscription.

6. Make your first message original

Don’t simply write up a stock introduction and copy and paste it to all candidates. Instead, get an idea of how you want to present yourself and zero in on something in each member’s profile to comment on. If you work in similar industries, mention that. If you have a common hobby, break the ice that way. A lot of members can spot generic messages pretty easily and many won’t respond to them at all. Most importantly, don’t make your first message something as pedestrian as “Hi.” It’s not too hard to come up with a more engaging intro than that.

7. Cut to the chase as quickly as possible

Don’t fall into the trap of endless email conversations or mindless texts that drag on for days. After a few electronic messages, ask to speak on the phone. Have some brief conversations and then request a date. Finding a suitable partner takes time, so it’s important to meet a candidate as quickly as possible to see if there’s a spark.

8. Be upfront about your intentions

If all you’re looking for is a roll in the hay, say so tactfully. If you prefer to be friends first long before any romance, mention that as well. There’s no need to hide your intentions – they’re eventually going to come out.

9. Don’t stalk members if you don’t receive a response

If you message someone you think is a perfect match for you, do not obsess if you don’t receive an email in return. Everyone is different and if someone’s just not into you, simply move on to greener pastures.

10. Avoid the urge to get your hopes up

It can be very easy to believe you’ve found “the one” based simply on a profile, but avoid the urge to get your hopes up until you meet in person. Building up high expectations beforehand may just be setting yourself up for failure. Be patient and cautious and take things one step at a time.