The secrets no one tells you about online dating

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If finding love is one of your 2016 resolutions, now is the time to give online dating a shot. It’s less scary than you think. You never know until you try, right? If you absolutely hate it, you can always delete your profile and forget it ever happened.

Online dating is a great option for everyone. With the rise of free and easily accessible dating sites and apps, pretty much everyone considers signing up for one. It’s commonplace now, and there are totally 100% normal people on every site.  Here’s what you need to know before you create a dating profile (source: MTV News).

It’s a commitment
In order to meet someone on a dating site, you need to actually use a dating site. You need to fill in your bio and select profile pics. You need to look through other people’s profiles. You need to send messages. You need to check out the people who message you and decide if you’re interested in continuing the conversation. And then you need to figure out what to say to them in response. All of these things require some degree of commitment.

It’s about quantity, not quality
Every awkward text conversation brings you closer to the person you are looking for. Every bad date brings you one date closer to that butterflies-in-stomach date.
Actually dating someone is obviously about quality, not quantity, but you can’t meet “the one” — in real life or online — if you don’t put yourself out there.

Be upfront about what you’re looking for
Don’t play games. Your time is precious, so don’t waste it on somebody who isn’t on the same page as you. If you’re not honest about what you want, you won’t find it.
“Know what you’re looking for and advertise it,” clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Walsh told MTV News.

Write something in your profile
Don’t be that person who leaves their profile or bio completely blank. If you want people to message you, give them something — anything! — to go off of. Otherwise you’ll be fielding the same “Hey, how’s it going?” messages all day, every day?

Do your research
You’re meeting strangers on the internet. It’s totally acceptable to Google their names, look them up on Facebook, etc. to make sure they are who they say they are.

Above all, be safe
Making the leap from digital communication to in-person talking is nerve-wracking. For the most part, online dating is safe, but if you’re worried, calm your fears with a few helpful steps. Before meeting up with anyone in real life, Google their name. Agree to meet them in a public place, like a coffee shop, bar or restaurant. Tell your roommates where you’re going, who you’re meeting and what time you expect to return. Keep an eye on your drink. You know this stuff already!

You have to meet in person
This may seem obvious, but the whole point of dating sites is to meet new people. Chatting online doesn’t count. It’s easy and convenient to fall into a rut of solely messaging people for validation or for the sake of messaging someone. When you find someone you’re into, the conversation needs to eventually move from your phone screen into real life. Otherwise, all you have is a really hot pen pal.

You will get rejected at some point
You messaged someone who doesn’t respond to you? Good news! Online rejection is quick and painless.

It’s OK to say no
Just like someone won’t respond to your message, at some point you likely will ignore a message yourself. And that’s perfectly OK. When it comes to online dating, never say yes just to be polite. If someone asks you out and you’re not feeling it, say no. If you don’t want to talk to someone, don’t.

You don’t have to lie about how you met
If you’re lucky enough to find that special someone online, don’t feel pressure to lie about how you two met. Online dating is practically the norm now.

You’ll become more confident in your love life
Asking someone out, whether it’s online or in person, feels less intimidating the more you do it. Dating isn’t easy, but like with most things in life, practice makes perfect. These experiences will teach you what you want and (more importantly) what you don’t want in a relationship. And you won’t settle for anything less.

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