Common online dating mistakes

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Successfully using dating sites is both an art and a science, and it’s left many guys unsure of how to proceed. In fact, a lot of well-meaning dudes are unknowingly driving potential matches insane as they try to get to know them better on dating sites. If you want to increase your success rate, avoid some of these common faux pas:

Writing a message that simply says “Hi”

It doesn’t leave much room for conversation, plus it’s too generic. We know you’re copying and pasting this “blah” introduction over and over.

Asking why we’re on this site

Online dating should be like Fight Club. We just don’t talk about the fact that we’re doing it. Obviously we’ve joined because we’re single! Move on to other topics, such as shared interests, what we like to do around the city, etc. There’s also no need to discuss the amount of “luck” we’re having on the site or how long we’ve been using it.

Listing no information at all in your profile

Favorite movies? Hobbies? Weird talents? Anything?

Dropping in lines like “Hey gorgeous” or “Hey beautiful”

This just feels ick, even if you mean well.

Using old photos or relying only on group shots

Ditch that picture of you playing lacrosse in high school or the shot of you and your 20 closest friends in favor of a recent solo snap. Meeting strangers is unnerving enough. We want to be able to pick you out in a crowd.

Using profile pictures that feature you with a child

The strategy behind the idea makes sense. We see you with a kid and it sends a message to our brains that you’d be a great father, cue ovary explosion. However, in reality it just confuses us and gets us thinking about whether we’re ready to be a stepmom. Skip the niece/nephew shots unless you make it explicitly clear that the kiddo isn’t yours. Unless, of course, he/she is — and then you should specify that.

Using your profile to list all of the traits you DON’T want in a partner

You don’t want drama. You don’t want someone who’s clingy. It’s okay to make your list of “must haves” known, but coming at it from a negative standpoint makes you seem aggressive. Instead, flip it around and frame it as a list of things you do want in a relationship. You want someone who’s easygoing and independent. That’s much more pleasant to read.

Answering a message in a way that doesn’t promote further conversation

If we write to you and your reply doesn’t include a question, it’s a hint that you’re not interested. If you want to keep chatting, make it a point to ask a follow-up question, or add in something that encourages further conversation.

Getting impatient if we take time to respond to a message

Much to our parents’ dismay, finding a significant other isn’t always our first priority. Guys who send an initial message, then immediately reply with “??” and then “why didn’t you respond?” freak us out.

Throwing up red flags left and right

If your profile is all about how you just got out of a long relationship/your family forced you to join/you haven’t had any luck on this site but you’re trying again, don’t be surprised when you don’t get many interested matches. People want positive and open-minded, not someone who’s on the rebound or is bitter about their situation.

Online dating instantly puts you in touch with hundreds of people you’d probably never meet otherwise. While this can be a lot to process, approaching the situation with positivity, a sense of humor, and a few updated pictures makes it easy to swipe your way to your next great relationship.

Source: AskMen

11 shocking facts about online dating

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Millions of people join dating sites each year, looking for their long-lost love or at least new friends to spend the days with. The vast majority do so without knowing much about online dating, except for all those urban legends, a few word-of-mouth reports and, of course, whatever the convincing advertisements say. For them, this list of 11 shocking facts about online dating in the United States, according to Statistics Brain, will be very enlightening.

71% of users believe in love at first sight

This fact can say a lot about the people who go online to find love. Perhaps they are die-hard romantics who wear their hearts on their sleeves, and believe there is one person out there that’s right for them. A big part of online dating is finding someone who will go on dates which are “no strings attached”. But the statistics don’t lie: finding true love is the ultimate goal for most. There is still some romance left in the dating world, even when it’s online.

20% of committed relationships began online

Some people swear by the convenience and success of online dating websites, while others disregard them as equally or more ineffective than regular dating. However, according to the statistics, internet dating does work for at least 20 percent of the people who make a commitment to keep at it. Starting a committed relationship with someone you met online is possible, just as it is with real-life dating.

17% of marriages are from online dating

Whether dating online or in person, the goal for many single people is marriage. They want to settle down, tie the knot, and start a family with the person they deeply love.  However, online dating may not be the best option for these people. Only an average of 17% of marriages are from relationships that began from online dating, and, with divorce rates in the U.S. skyrocketing, there’s no telling if those marriages will actually last.

18 months average courtship before marriage

Relationships take months and even years to develop before a couple finally decides to take the proverbial plunge. This is also true for online dating. After moving from trading messages, to meeting, to dating in real life, it can take an average of 18 months before online daters get married. Couples take time to decide if they are as compatible as the website made them seem.

38% of women prefer “nice guys”

Nice guys finish last? Not always. Squeaky-clean men don’t have to hide their natural personalities to attract girls online. It’s most likely a tired cliché that all girls like the “bad boy”. In actuality, women are usually more attracted to confidence, a sense of humor, and men who know how to treat women with the respect they most certainly deserve.

The men who are planning to alter their personalities online just to get a date should look at this statistic and think again. As people often say, just be yourself.

42% of men prefer “modern career girl”

This statistic tells us that a healthy percentage of men would rather date or commit to a modern career girl over someone who, perhaps, doesn’t have their life quite figured out. Just like women, men seem to want their potential significant others to be confident, assertive, and extremely independent. Maturity seems to be the most desired trait for both genders.

Women’s online desirability peaks at age 21

It’s common for women to get more private messages than men, especially if these women are 21 years old and younger. The number of women being contacted peaks for those who list their age at 21, declining steadily after this point. It’s a cliché, but it’s commonly believed that men are biologically programmed to chase younger and consequently more fertile women, which may be the reason for this statistic.

Younger women have most online pursuers

This is where the numbers get tricky. Although women’s online desirability peaks at 21, they have the most active pursuers around the age of 26. Close to half of men prefer a modern career girl, and a woman in her late 20s is more likely to have a stable career (or at least working to develop one) than a younger girl. However, 26 year old still fulfill the ‘youth’ preference of many men.

Older men have double the online pursuers of young men

In a trend which opposes that of men seeking women, the older that a man is in the online dating world, the more women will seek him out. This may be because older men are perceived to be more financially and emotionally stable, having lived a longer life with more character-building experiences than men in their 30s and 20s.

Men at this age have likely had more relationships too. As a result, they may be perceived to have developed more maturity. Maturity in men is a good sign that they’re more willing to commit to a long-term relationship or even marriage, which many single women will be seeking online.

Men lie about age, height, income

Men often lie about their personality or daily life in order to seem more attractive, just like with normal dating. It’s quite natural to tell a few white lies here and there. However, with online dating, men lie about their major physical attributes and financial stability -including lies about age, height, and income.

Men might be sabotaging themselves when doing so. Within just one date, women will quickly work out the lies regarding height and age, at least.

Women lie about weight, physical build, age

Women also lie in their online dating profiles. However, their lies differ from men’s with exaggerations or misinformation focused on their weight, build, as well as their age. This may be a side effect of a dating culture that focuses on women’s looks over their personalities and accomplishments.

As a result, they lie to seem more attractive to potential pursuers. It’s easy to list false information in a general profile, but it’s unclear how these lies impact the success of face-to-face meetings.

Source: TheRichest

Full guide to proper online dating etiquette

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Manners are apparently the very backbone of our society, but, despite this, dating online can feel like it’s full of people with bad manners and poor behavior. Tongues out in profile pictures, unsolicited nudes and toilet humor are a few ways to render yourself an online dating pariah. This article will help you get the lowdown on keeping those manners in ship shape.

Your profile

How do you present yourself in your profile? Photos are usually the first thing prospective matches look at, so choose carefully to avoid defeat.

  • No selfies. There is nothing attractive about posing in a mirror with a camera phone.
  • Choose your photos wisely. Dating experts recommend uploading three up-to-date photos of you out and about.
  • No bragging in your bio. Don’t brag too much about your qualifications and achievements because you are looking for someone to join you in life, not to scare and intimidate.
  • Be truthful about your job. Never trust anyone who says they’re president of their own company. They’re probably all freelance writers, not bankers.

The pre-date chat

Once you’ve matched with someone, it’s hard to get the balance right during that initial messaging period. Here’s how to you show interest without appearing too keen, or — heaven forbid — rude.

  • Don’t talk about sex. Dating experts say you shouldn’t dive in with talk of sex too early on. “Avoid full-on, obscene messages early on. And, definitely no dick pics or nudes. Keep it tucked away; we don’t want to see it yet.”
  • No toilet humor. Toilet humor should be avoided at all costs.
  • Don’t whinge. Don’t talk about your problems, politics or how much you hate your job, life or flatmate. Never complain or say anything negative or you’ll be seen as a negative type of person.
  • Don’t mention money or problems. Money, ill health, politics, problems and sex are all conversation topics that should be avoided.
  • Don’t get personal. Don’t reveal your secrets too early on.

The date

Congratulations, you’ve managed to hold your matches attention and you’ve secured a date. Now it’s time to make a real impression, but make sure it’s for all the right reasons.

  • Brush up on your table manners
  • Don’t drink too much, or too little
  • Be punctual
  • Be polite
  • Don’t talk about your ex.
  • Don’t keep checking your phone.

Good luck!
Source: Mashable

5 things that will help you get more online dates

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For many of us, crafting the perfect dating profile is actually harder than going on a date. You need to strike the perfect balance: come across as smart, sexy and fun, but totally suitable to take home to meet the parents. So before before you start, take note of these tips that will definitely help you!

1. Having a picture of a dog.

Research has shown that you are three times more likely to have dating success if you are pictured with a furry friend.

2. A mixture of selfies and group pictures.

This one is just common sense. Five selfies makes you look like a narcissist but an endless stream of group pictures usually makes it really tricky for people to work out who you are. And chances are you aren’t the really gorgeous one. Sorry but it’s true.

3. Delete all headless pictures of you in your underwear.

Let’s get real for a moment, even if you have a great body and are just looking for sex; a headless photo of you sitting in your pants is not attractive. And it is possible to just have a one night stand but not pitch yourself as a torso.

4. Be funny.

Whatever you’re looking for by using online dating apps, chances are it isn’t a cripplingly boring and serious conversation about how much they hate their manager. Humor is one of the most important factors in new relationships. This is meant to be fun for everyone, just lighten up a bit.

5. Have a beard.

Lose the razor men (sadly this one does only apply to men). A study has shown that guys are 18% more likely to get a swipe if you have some facial hair – whether that’s minor stubble or a full beard.

Source: Huffpost Lifestyle

How to avoid online dating scams

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How do you avoid opening your heart — and your wallet — to a princess too charming to be true? Start by taking these precautions.

Never reveal personal data to someone until you meet face-to-face and develop a level of trust. While it’s tempting to share every detail of your life with a person you think you could be in love with, that’s exactly what the scammer is counting on.

Upload a potential paramour’s photo on tineye.com. This will allow you to see where on the Internet the photo has appeared. Many con artists use a photo they’ve swiped from a Facebook page.

Be suspicious if someone wants to immediately start communicating through IM and e-mail. They may want access to your computer in order to steal information.

Don’t open attachments from a stranger. If someone sends you a photo in an attachment and you open it, you may have unwittingly allowed a virus to infect your computer.

Don’t fall for a sob story. Many scammers claim to have lost a spouse, child, or parent in an accident or say they have a relative who is very ill.

Dial up your date ASAP. Someone who sounds plausible online may be an obvious fraud on the phone or SKYPE.

Report any suspicious behavior.

Never, ever wire money to a stranger.

Source: Reader’s Digest

Communicating with potential partners

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You can meet Russian and Ukrainian women without ever leaving your house. How? Go online! Here is how to be successful with online dating.

Be a gentleman

Being polite and kind to everyone you interact with communicates that you’re a quality person, online and off, who’s worthy of respect and attention. Pay particular attention to these points:

  • Make a polite introduction. If someone messages you, note that you were delighted to receive their message and give out a little more information about yourself. If you message someone, tell her more about yourself and express that you’d love to get to know her.
  • Keep it elegant. Remember, if she wanted to meet a slouchy, rude, abrupt barfly, she would have gone to the bar. Instead, she came to the Internet to meet guys like you, so try to step it up a bit. Don’t ask what she’s wearing or what her figure is like, don’t push for pictures right away, and don’t ask for highly personal specifics at first (such as where she works or her full name). Instead, focus on her personal interests, her goals, and anything you share in common.

Stand out

Most women who use online dating sites get a lot of messages. If you decide to send a lady something, try to make it compelling and different from the rest of what she sees. Ask her a question about her profile, make a tasteful joke, or just be bold and say something like “You’re gorgeous, and you seem fascinating. I’d love nothing more than getting to know you.”

Know how to keep a conversation rolling

So you’ve gotten a nice girl to notice you — now what? How you manage the conversation will determine where the connection goes, but it’s easier than you might think. Here’s how to continue interacting with her:

  • Let her talk about herself. Keep in mind that most people are comfortable talking about themselves, because it’s a topic they know well. Nervousness might tempt you to keep the conversation focused on yourself, but resist. A big part of being a good conversationalist is being a good listener.
  • Ask her questions that are thought-provoking, but not too personal. Asking your potential ladylove what she does for fun on the weekends is perfectly fine; asking her if she’s divorced or had a hysterectomy is not. Though you might learn this information later, now is not the time. Keep your questions focused on things like what she does to relax, where she’s from, where she went to school, what kind of entertainment (books, music, movies, television) she likes, whether she’s an animal-lover, etc.
  • Follow that old adage and steer clear of sex, politics, money and religion. There’s a reason why these are forbidden topics when you’re first getting to know someone.

Always leave her wanting more

Bow out of the chat session before it gets too stale, or don’t be too quick to return her emails. Lowering supply increases demand, and she’ll be more interested if you don’t immediately give everything away. Be interested, but restrained. Let her come to you a little bit.

Express gratitude

Every so often, let the women you’re talking to know how much you appreciate their attention. It doesn’t have to be cheesy — something as simple as “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you so far” or “Thanks for responding to my message” will suffice.

Handle rejection with grace

If it doesn’t work out, don’t get bitter. Instead, say farewell like a gentleman and wish her all the best. Your polite send-off might cause her to circle back later, at which point you can evaluate if you’re still interested.

Don’t push a date too soon

A woman will automatically read you as creepy and only after her body if you start angling for a date too early. Instead, try to be patient and enjoy this period of getting to know her spirit and mind. If things work out, you’ll have plenty of time later to bask in her physical presence. Allow her to let you know when she’s ready to meet.

Keep your head up You might encounter a lot of rejection online, as everyone does in the real world. Don’t let it get you down, though. The right girl for you is out there somewhere, and maybe you’re meant to appreciate her more after getting turned down by the wrong girl(s). Stay positive!

Source: WikiHow

The perfect online dating profile isn’t perfect at all

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When creating an online dating profile, the usual protocol is, of course, to put one’s best foot forward. But don’t try to make yourself look too good. According to new research, an over zealously scrubbed online dating profile may not elicit the adoration you’d think.

Researchers found that people are distrusting of flashy or too-perfect online dating profiles. The most successful profiles, instead, are those that feel authentic, and offer a sense of who the person really is.

People want to contact a person who appears to be accurate in what they are saying about themselves online. It’s tough when it comes to dating profiles because we want someone who seems like an amazing person, but we also hopefully will have a relationship with this individual, so we want them to exist.

In order to test how people respond to various types of dating profiles, the researchers created fake profiles  with combinations of two possible orientations. The first orientation highlighted only what is “good” about the person and their life, while the other type of profile contained information that is traceable to a real person.

The pseudo-profiles were then shown to study participants who had previous experience using online dating sites. The participants were asked to judge the profiles and decide who they would be interested in dating.

The profiles that scored the highest were those that did not present the person as perfect, and which also contained information that made the person feel more real.

Essentially, the findings suggest that people want to be able to see, and relate to, the person behind the profile. The participants preferred getting more details about the prospective partner’s life, and seeing a range of different traits and interests, rather than just the most positive. Perhaps, as we become more seasoned online daters, our BS detectors start to go off more — and real becomes more important than perfect.

The best advice is to balance all that is wonderful about you with some things that aren’t negative, but more humble or realistic.

Source: The Huffington Post

Key to successful dating online

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The key to successful dating online is a well-written user profile. A profile is the unique, customizable area on an online dating site that contains biographical information about yourself, as well as photographs and details about what you’re looking for in a potential mate.

New user’s profile must include 4 parts—the picture, the headline, the username and the paragraph.

The Picture

  • Stay recent and real. All pictures should be taken within the last six months and feature a head shot, as well as a full body shot.
  • Avoid pictures of yourself with either too many props or too many other people. Your main picture should be just you, and not you wearing sunglasses or you holding your dog. Use those photos for the supplemental pictures.
  • Update photos as much as possible. You can use photos from recent vacations as well as those that feature you taking part in a hobby you enjoy.
  • Don’t include too many pictures of you with other people.

The Username

  • Don’t be too esoteric. Don’t pick something that will likely go over people’s heads or come off as inaccessible.
  • If the name you want is taken, don’t try to force one. Make it easy to figure out what it means.
  • Stay clear of anything too provocative.

The Headline or Status Line

  • Your headline should answer a basic question such as “What am I looking for?” And  the answer should be fun and playful and prompt people to want to click into your profile to get to know you better.
  • Like the username, stay away from being too clever.

The Description

  • Create three separate paragraphs. The first should be about who you are and what you like to do. The second should contain things such as your pet peeves and personal quirks—anything that is unique and stands out from the crowd. The last paragraph should detail what your life looks likes now, including the most recent movies you’ve seen, books you’ve read or places you’ve visited.
  • Be brief. No one wants to read a novel and users should be careful about sharing too much.
  • Be as unique as possible. Specificity is what makes you stand out.
  • Spell check.

Source: OPRAH

Safe online dating tips

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With a few simple tips and tricks and a bit of thought you can be dating safely online in no time (source: The Love Queen)!

Don’t take things too quickly.

Exchange at least a couple of messages back and forth on the dating site before giving out your e-mail address, phone number or Skype information. This will give you time to observe your potential date’s social skills. If she seems overly impulsive, you might want to nip things in the bud rather than proceeding any further.  Some people set up a separate disposable e-mail address solely for online suitors. That way, if someone becomes too persistent in their attentions to you, you can just abandon the temporary e-mail address. After the potential object of your affections has displayed the ability to write intelligent e-mails, move on to phone conversations and/or video chat. If you have any reason to suspect that her profile includes a fake or out-of-date photo, the latter means of communication enables you to verify the identity.

Catfishers, fake profiles and scammers.

Internet dating fraud situations most often occur when hundreds or thousands of miles separate the victim and the fake persona created by a con artist so try to avoid long distance people. One way to avoid catfishers is to do a reverse google image search for their profile picture. If you see lots of results coming up you have found something dodgy!

Do a little bit of online detective work.

Companies often review a job candidate’s social media profiles before making a job offer. There’s nothing wrong with something similar before embarking on a romance with the woman you met online. If her Facebook profile reveals she’s still married to the man she describes as an ex, you can bow out before you become “the other man.” If her Twitter timeline includes racist jokes, you can spare yourself future social awkwardness by not pursuing the relationship. Naturally, there are limits to this kind of activity. You don’t want to turn into a stalker. But looking up public information about a potential girlfriend can help you weed out unsuitable candidates for your affection.

Money = red flag.

You may think it can’t happen to you, but everyone who has ever been conned used to think that, too. Most of us can become a bit too trusting when our hearts and/or hormones are on the line. No matter how sincere the person seems, no matter how attractive she appears, head for the door if there’s a story about needing anything more than cabfare. Similarly, be suspicious of anyone who offers you expensive gifts like airfare to a foreign country.

Russian wedding traditions

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Russian traditional wedding is different from what people are used to in the United States, Canada, Mexico or Europe. There are no rehearsals, bridesmaids, and flower girls. The best man and the maid of honor are called “witnesses” or in Russian “svideteli”. The wedding celebration usually lasts for two days (or more) and requires preparation of about 1 to 6 months. The registration of marriage takes place at the department of public services or in Russian – “ZAGS”. Nowadays many couples also choose the church ceremony (source: Barynya).

1. Ransom for the bride

The groom is coming to the bride’s home with his closest friends and relatives. To get the bride he has to pay some ransom to the folks on the bride’s side. Everything is played out as a joke and both sides are mostly competing in the sense of humor. After getting the bride, the couple gets out of the house into the car (usually limousine) to go for the marriage registration. On the way from the house to the car groom and his crew also have to deal with the neighbors and kids, who all want coins, candies and free drinks. In return neighbors solute the couple and sprinkle them with coins and rice.

2. Orthodox marriage ceremony

If the couple decides to get married in the Russian Orthodox Church, the ceremony is usually 30 to 120 minutes long with all the Russian orthodox traditions taking place. Orthodox marriage ceremony is well described in Tolstoy’s books and other classical literature. I just have to mention that the ceremony is very beautiful and is almost breathtaking both for the couple and the guests.

3. Civil ceremony

The civil ceremony takes place at the department of public services (“ZAGS”). At the entry to the registration hall the couple is greeted by the guests with bread and salt. Afterwards they are led by the receptionist inside the hall, where the actual ceremony is held. The ceremony is about 15 minutes long and at the end of it the couple exchanges rings, says “I do” and signs the book of registry. Then they are pronounced the man and wife and walk out of the hall to the music of Mendelssohn played by the Russian Wedding Orchestra. The civil ceremony is an official part of the wedding but the real celebration starts afterwards.

4. Limousine and places

After the official part, it is customary for the bride and groom, and some of their close friends and relatives to go on a tour of the historic sites of the city, taking pictures and drinking champagne. In Moscow, popular stops include the Red Square, Grave of the Unknown Soldier and Sparrow Hills near Moscow State University. Usually by the end of the tour many guests are already singing and dancing.

5. Russian wedding reception

But all of the above is just a prelude to the main celebration – the gala feast! Unlike wedding receptions in the West, Russian wedding receptions are very loud and they last for two days or sometimes even longer. They include a lot of Russian music, singing, dancing, long toasts, and the abundance of food and drinks to go with it. The guests love to sing Russian traditional songs to the sounds of accordion, bayan or garmoshka.

Bread and salt

It is offered to the newlyweds by both parents as a symbol of health, prosperity and long life. Both bride and groom must take a bite of the bread and the one that takes the largest bite will be the head of the family!

Wedding toasts and broken glasses

At the beginning of the reception a relative or close friend makes a wedding toast to the bride and groom. By Russian tradition everyone throws their champagne glasses on the floor and it is considered a good luck if the glasses break when they hit the ground.

Stealing the bride

The groom should constantly keep his eyes on the bride. If the bride gets out of the groom’s sight, she could be stolen by his friends and the groom will have to pay the ransom.

5. Day number two

Celebration goes on with no less fun than the day before. After some rest more drinking, singing, dancing, and fighting takes place. Never miss the second day of the traditional Russian wedding.  There is a rule that the second day of the Russian wedding celebration is even more fun than the first day.